1
00:00:09,700 --> 00:00:12,740
CLANGING

2
00:00:12,740 --> 00:00:15,720
ELECTRICAL BUZZING

3
00:00:38,180 --> 00:00:40,300
No! No what?

4
00:00:40,300 --> 00:00:46,320
I'm not available for romantic
purposes. You look as if you never
were...and that makes two of us.

5
00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:50,340
Go away. I'm busy. You'll be busier
in a minute, dodging this brush.

6
00:00:50,340 --> 00:00:52,620
What ARE you doing?

7
00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:55,000
Do we have to have all that racket?

8
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:59,220
Not that it's any of your business,
even if you do find me fascinating.

9
00:00:59,220 --> 00:01:02,840
I am creating. Creating havoc.

10
00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:06,520
And you're about as fascinating
as that stuff that grows on cheese.

11
00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:10,360
Full of natural flavour.
You'll be glad when I'm finished.

12
00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:15,200
I'm doing a work of art to brighten
this place up. Brighten it up?

13
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:19,340
This place doesn't need anything.
There's nothing wrong with it.

14
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:24,400
Don't you slam
your head shut at me!

15
00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,840
Romantic purposes.

16
00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:30,880
I haven't had one of them for
50 years and it wasn't on purpose.

17
00:01:37,660 --> 00:01:43,620
I may be retired,
but suddenly this little winking
light is flashing inside my head.

18
00:01:43,620 --> 00:01:49,700
Anything over six pints
and I'm the same. The car.
Isn't that Barry's car over there?

19
00:01:49,700 --> 00:01:52,420
I think it is... It is Barry's car.

20
00:01:52,420 --> 00:01:57,660
Call me suspicious,
but I wonder what he's doing,
lurking out there among the trees.

21
00:01:57,660 --> 00:02:03,540
Barry doesn't lurk.
He works for a building society. So
did the Leicester Square Strangler.

22
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:09,360
I bet he was in the Claims
Department. From a busy schedule,
where does Barry find the time?

23
00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:12,980
The what? The time.
Just about ten past.

24
00:02:12,980 --> 00:02:15,000
Oh, thank you, Billy Hardcastle.

25
00:02:22,420 --> 00:02:25,340
It is. It's Barry's car.

26
00:02:25,340 --> 00:02:31,460
The thing about people being up to
something is that they can be talked
into giving you a lift into town.

27
00:02:31,460 --> 00:02:36,120
The thing is not to ask him what
he's up to until we're in the car.

28
00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:42,040
That's sneaky. It's not for nothing
I'm descended from a famous outlaw.

29
00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:45,080
I've always had more trouble
with the in-laws.

30
00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:49,560
I still can't see Barry being
"up to" something.

31
00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:53,440
I didn't think he was the type.
I still don't think he's the type.

32
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:57,440
I don't think he's the type either.
They're the worst type.

33
00:02:57,440 --> 00:03:02,880
What happened to innocent until
proved guilty? Very unreliable.

34
00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:06,500
You're on much
firmer ground starting with guilty.

35
00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:08,540
Barry!

36
00:03:08,540 --> 00:03:11,580
Barry! Barry! Barry! Barry!

37
00:03:11,580 --> 00:03:14,320
Barry! Oh, um...

38
00:03:16,060 --> 00:03:19,460
Oh, it's you. Er...
With you in a minute.

39
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:21,600
Did that sound innocent?

40
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:25,280
Sounded worse than me when I'm
trying to lie to the missus.

41
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:28,960
Haven't you cracked that one? Not
easy when you've been drinking.

42
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,560
Have you thought of not drinking?
Never.

43
00:03:33,540 --> 00:03:36,300
What's he need a suitcase for?

44
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:42,040
There'll be a perfectly
simple explanation. I expect
he's been burying stolen money.

45
00:03:43,660 --> 00:03:45,800
Hello. Going back to town, Barry?

46
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:49,760
That's right, Mr Truelove.
Great. Tha' can give us a lift.

47
00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:53,380
What a happy coincidence -
meeting you out here like this.

48
00:03:53,380 --> 00:03:55,960
Funny, I was thinking the same.

49
00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:59,620
I expect tha'll be getting
a big flash new car soon, Barry.

50
00:03:59,620 --> 00:04:01,180
(Hmph!)

51
00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:29,120
Going somewhere? I thought
I'd just stretch my legs a minute.

52
00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:33,380
It's too late now. You should have
done that when you were young.

53
00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:38,900
I thought just a couple of turns
round the yard...

54
00:04:38,900 --> 00:04:41,200
get the stiffness out.

55
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:46,060
That's all it was, was it,
just the yard? Oh, yes.

56
00:04:46,060 --> 00:04:48,120
That was the intention, yes.

57
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:51,620
It's quite sufficient
for a little exercise - the yard.

58
00:04:51,620 --> 00:04:54,480
Oh, well, if it was just the yard.

59
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:15,640
I meant to say... If you are
thinking of going any farther,

60
00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:19,320
I think it's only fair to warn you
your bicycle's on a lead.

61
00:05:23,980 --> 00:05:27,120
Barry was guilty.

62
00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:31,540
I'm an expert. I've been trained
in feeling guilty by experts.

63
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:33,680
The missus and her sister.

64
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,920
I still don't think
that he was burying stolen money.

65
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,940
Well, what else would he be burying?
Could be anything.

66
00:05:40,940 --> 00:05:43,020
Pickled walnuts.

67
00:05:43,020 --> 00:05:48,200
All these years Glenda has fed him
pickled walnuts as a treat,

68
00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:52,540
and Barry's too nice a person
to tell her that he hates them.

69
00:05:52,540 --> 00:05:58,080
So he's been sneaking them
upstairs in a handkerchief and
stuffing them into old briefcases.

70
00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:03,220
Now the briefcases are all full so
he's taken them out to bury them.

71
00:06:03,220 --> 00:06:08,680
He's guilty of more
than pickled walnuts.
Here's another one looks guilty.

72
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:16,120
Where's the harm in going
for a spin on the bicycle?

73
00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:20,840
You look like a person at the end
of his rope. She ties your bicycle.

74
00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:25,700
What kind of wife ties
your bicycle? Your kind.

75
00:06:25,700 --> 00:06:28,340
Just showing how she cares.

76
00:06:28,340 --> 00:06:33,180
Look, give romance a rest, Howard.
Come and have a cup of tea.

77
00:06:33,180 --> 00:06:35,280
I ought to undo this rope first.

78
00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:40,020
Is that allowed? Allowed? A man
must be master in his own house.

79
00:06:40,020 --> 00:06:43,080
FROM ABOVE: Leave that rope alone!

80
00:07:00,700 --> 00:07:05,880
You saw that, Miss Davenport.
There's something in there
he doesn't want me to see.

81
00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:10,240
They are deceivers, I'm afraid.
I tried to believe in them.

82
00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:13,220
I wanted to believe in them, but...

83
00:07:13,220 --> 00:07:17,360
I lost my faith in the bridal suite
of a boarding house in Reigate.

84
00:07:21,300 --> 00:07:24,360
You see. He's locked the boot.

85
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:28,640
It left me with a terrible aversion
to patterned flock wallpaper.

86
00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:33,020
Hello, ladies.
You're back early, Barry. Yes.

87
00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:38,980
You see. No explanation.

88
00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:41,620
He never turned up, you know.

89
00:07:41,620 --> 00:07:47,600
And under those circumstances,
one quickly exhausts
the tea-making facilities.

90
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:52,080
Married all this time
and he calls me "Hello, ladies."

91
00:08:50,260 --> 00:08:53,280
Hello, Barry. Hello, Mr Entwistle.

92
00:09:06,940 --> 00:09:13,000
It's not just a passing interest.
I've always been a seeker of the
truth of these eternal questions.

93
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:17,500
So what do you think, Barry? Will
the mortgage rates stay the same?

94
00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:19,700
Are you married, Mr Entwistle?

95
00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:22,220
That's a tricky question, lad.

96
00:09:22,220 --> 00:09:24,200
Sometimes it's a grey area.

97
00:09:28,780 --> 00:09:34,980
I never realised you were so
depressed about the mortgage rate,
Barry. ..Barry?

98
00:09:43,580 --> 00:09:50,000
Oh, look at him.
I'm not having anybody with a face
like his in my establishment.

99
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:54,080
People see him with that face,
they'll think it's my catering.

100
00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:58,240
Either he cheers up or he's out.
You'd better start smiling, lad.

101
00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:02,900
I am smiling. I can feel it.
Well, it's not coming through.

102
00:10:04,580 --> 00:10:07,820
Wear it on the outside
if you want to stay in here.

103
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:16,700
What happened to him?
I happened to him.

104
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:22,420
I'm not having him in here
looking as if he's just eaten
something vile. Oh, not again.

105
00:10:22,420 --> 00:10:25,200
We had that yesterday. Watch it.

106
00:10:26,780 --> 00:10:29,760
I never knew it was so painful.

107
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:33,200
It makes you wonder
why people do it.

108
00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:39,540
Oh, ye gods! Another one.

109
00:10:41,460 --> 00:10:44,180
He's feeling guilty already.

110
00:10:44,180 --> 00:10:47,300
We'll get it out of him tactfully.

111
00:10:47,300 --> 00:10:50,820
Now then, Barry,
what's tha been up to?

112
00:10:50,820 --> 00:10:54,080
I think my marriage is in crisis.

113
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:57,800
Oh, well, as long as it's
nothing serious.

114
00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:02,140
If he's looking miserable,
can I stop smiling now? No.

115
00:11:02,140 --> 00:11:04,280
Last thing we need is a double act.

116
00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:09,260
If you've anything to confess,
lad, now's the time.

117
00:11:12,060 --> 00:11:18,360
I think Glenda's seeing
another man. Glenda?
I don't believe that, Barry.

118
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:23,680
I saw him go into the house after
I left. He must have been waiting.

119
00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:27,340
You used to be Truly of the Yard,
Mr Truelove.

120
00:11:27,340 --> 00:11:30,460
Would you investigate?

121
00:11:30,460 --> 00:11:32,360
Oo-oo-oo...

122
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:38,540
What's wrong?
It's his smile. It's stuck.
Get it off! Get it off!

123
00:11:56,623 --> 00:11:59,103
How did you manage to break that?

124
00:11:59,103 --> 00:12:03,743
It's not broken.
This is how it's supposed to be.

125
00:12:03,743 --> 00:12:08,683
Give us a hand. I don't want any
familiarities if I come close.

126
00:12:08,683 --> 00:12:13,443
Familiarities? I'd sooner grab
a hot welding rod.

127
00:12:13,443 --> 00:12:17,743
You'll think you have grabbed one
if you try anything with me. You?

128
00:12:17,743 --> 00:12:23,043
You're bad-tempered,
foul and horrible. Yes,
and that's just on the surface.

129
00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:26,543
Underneath I can
be really unpleasant.

130
00:12:26,543 --> 00:12:32,843
Wouldn't it be easier to bring the
bin to this instead of taking this
to the bin? It's not for binning.

131
00:12:32,843 --> 00:12:37,363
It's art. Are you naturally weird,
or did you take a course?

132
00:12:37,363 --> 00:12:41,163
It's abstract art. I may have found
my natural vocation.

133
00:12:41,163 --> 00:12:43,523
Oh, as well as annoying me?

134
00:12:43,523 --> 00:12:45,923
Put it down here.

135
00:12:47,123 --> 00:12:49,843
There... It looks good there.

136
00:12:49,843 --> 00:12:52,063
It's not stopping there.

137
00:12:52,063 --> 00:12:55,803
You should be pleased.
A piece of original art.

138
00:12:55,803 --> 00:12:57,943
What's it supposed to be?

139
00:12:57,943 --> 00:13:01,563
It's not supposed to be anything.
It's abstract.

140
00:13:01,563 --> 00:13:05,803
It's an abstract shape. If it had to
be anything, I'd say it was a tree.

141
00:13:05,803 --> 00:13:09,143
I'd say it was my
personal vision of a tree.

142
00:13:09,143 --> 00:13:11,343
I would say you need new glasses.

143
00:13:15,703 --> 00:13:17,903
Has it gone?

144
00:13:17,903 --> 00:13:21,423
Are you sure it's gone?
Relax, it's gone.

145
00:13:21,423 --> 00:13:24,983
You look as miserable as ever.
That's a relief.

146
00:13:24,983 --> 00:13:28,583
It didn't feel natural.
It didn't look natural.

147
00:13:28,583 --> 00:13:33,283
How do you shave wearing a smile?
I bet it's not easy.

148
00:13:36,463 --> 00:13:39,923
That's him. That's the man.
That's Glenda's fella.

149
00:13:41,983 --> 00:13:45,703
That's him. The boyfriend.
You saw him.

150
00:13:45,703 --> 00:13:49,223
Oh, just my luck.
I bet he's handsome.

151
00:13:49,223 --> 00:13:52,743
I bet he's got a flat stomach
and a platinum credit card.

152
00:13:52,743 --> 00:13:56,983
I've had it, haven't I?
Barry, it's not like Glenda.

153
00:13:56,983 --> 00:14:02,023
Not normally, but he's probably
Italian or sells double glazing.

154
00:14:02,023 --> 00:14:05,603
Don't go crawling back
to Glenda yet, lad.

155
00:14:05,603 --> 00:14:11,743
Get your windows changed,
then go back. Thank you, nurse,
for that advice to the lovelorn.

156
00:14:11,743 --> 00:14:16,143
We'll get to the bottom of this.
Truly of the Yard will investigate.

157
00:14:16,143 --> 00:14:19,643
You're about to see
the master swing into action.

158
00:14:19,643 --> 00:14:21,683
Right, you two, follow that man.

159
00:14:21,683 --> 00:14:25,563
Wow, that's some swing.
Follow him where?

160
00:14:25,563 --> 00:14:27,863
Wherever he's going, you twit.

161
00:14:27,863 --> 00:14:31,643
Oh, well, it's better
than having to smile.

162
00:14:31,643 --> 00:14:37,463
Now, don't let him see you.
Go wherever he leads you and see
if you can find out who he is.

163
00:14:37,463 --> 00:14:41,103
Where will you be?
We'll be at Glenda's.

164
00:14:41,103 --> 00:14:43,363
We'll get to the bottom of this.

165
00:14:43,363 --> 00:14:47,783
Do you think we should be quite as
direct as that? Yes, Barry, I do.

166
00:14:47,783 --> 00:14:51,723
It's been my experience
that the truth is always best...

167
00:14:51,723 --> 00:14:53,763
except in the witness box.

168
00:14:53,763 --> 00:14:55,903
I can't face Glenda.

169
00:14:55,903 --> 00:14:59,883
That's because you're feeling
guilty, lad. I am.

170
00:14:59,883 --> 00:15:02,123
I have this...

171
00:15:02,123 --> 00:15:04,343
secret.

172
00:15:04,343 --> 00:15:08,943
I should probably caution you at
this point. Stop being a policeman.

173
00:15:08,943 --> 00:15:11,643
Help the lad. You're right.

174
00:15:11,643 --> 00:15:14,263
We'll tackle Glenda for you, Barry.

175
00:15:14,263 --> 00:15:18,303
We'll get the truth out of her.
That's what friends are for.

176
00:15:18,303 --> 00:15:22,783
And if it comes to a nasty divorce,
well, you'll need a few witnesses.

177
00:15:24,163 --> 00:15:26,443
Talk about a bedside manner.

178
00:15:26,443 --> 00:15:30,003
Where did you learn
your police training - Beirut?

179
00:15:32,543 --> 00:15:35,983
Tell Glenda an old flame sends
his love.

180
00:15:40,003 --> 00:15:41,783
Aw!

181
00:15:41,783 --> 00:15:45,403
Don't start aw-ing till we know
what he's done with the money.

182
00:16:05,263 --> 00:16:08,923
How can we follow him
if he gets on a bus?

183
00:16:08,923 --> 00:16:14,483
You'll have to run. You've got the
legs for it. Well, if I'm running,
you're running with me.

184
00:16:19,063 --> 00:16:21,923
Quick, we'll take the short cut.

185
00:16:37,843 --> 00:16:40,003
Sorry, Marina, love.

186
00:16:40,003 --> 00:16:42,263
Sorry, Howard. Sorry!

187
00:16:51,883 --> 00:16:54,103
It's Glenda.

188
00:16:54,103 --> 00:16:58,323
She must have met him on the bus.
She's craftier than we thought.

189
00:17:01,223 --> 00:17:04,943
We'll have to come up with
some excuse for calling

190
00:17:04,943 --> 00:17:08,443
and see what we can
find out casually. Even sneakily.

191
00:17:08,443 --> 00:17:10,683
What excuse for calling?

192
00:17:10,683 --> 00:17:14,403
I think we can safely leave
that to Old Sneaky of the Yard.

193
00:17:14,403 --> 00:17:18,463
We'll say we're calling for Barry,
and she'll invite us in to wait.

194
00:17:18,463 --> 00:17:20,803
Suppose she doesn't?

195
00:17:20,803 --> 00:17:25,103
We come up with some snappy line
like, "Can we come in and wait?"

196
00:17:31,503 --> 00:17:33,603
Right, here we go, then.

197
00:17:33,603 --> 00:17:38,183
Remember. Tactful. I thought it
was sneaky. I mean sneaky.

198
00:17:39,503 --> 00:17:46,323
Oh, Mr Truelove. I'm so glad
you're here. It's Barry.
I think he's up to something.

199
00:17:46,323 --> 00:17:49,183
You're suspicious of Barry?

200
00:17:49,183 --> 00:17:53,403
I know I shouldn't be, but I'm
sure Barry's up to something.

201
00:17:53,403 --> 00:17:56,803
I want you to find
out what he's doing.

202
00:17:56,803 --> 00:18:00,263
This case is
trickier than we thought.

203
00:18:02,063 --> 00:18:06,503
I can't believe anything bad
of Glenda or Barry.

204
00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:10,863
Well, Barry's up to something.
We saw him in the wood.

205
00:18:10,863 --> 00:18:14,463
An "up to something" spot
if I ever saw one.

206
00:18:14,463 --> 00:18:17,863
He did look suspicious
and I know that look.

207
00:18:17,863 --> 00:18:20,043
The wife catches me wearing it.

208
00:18:20,043 --> 00:18:24,283
Everybody looks suspicious in
a wood. It's what they're for.

209
00:18:24,283 --> 00:18:30,743
It's true. If you're alone in a wood
it's very hard not to look as if
you've been burying a body.

210
00:18:38,463 --> 00:18:42,283
You're right. It's hard to believe,
but Glenda's got a bloke.

211
00:18:42,283 --> 00:18:44,383
I don't believe it.

212
00:18:44,383 --> 00:18:48,463
Told you it was hard. We followed
him. He met Glenda on a bus.

213
00:18:48,463 --> 00:18:52,443
Followed him? We were doing
over 50 down one stretch.

214
00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:05,403
What's the going rate
for following Barry?

215
00:19:05,403 --> 00:19:05,463
You're a tight lot, you lot from
Hull. It's our ancient tradition.

216
00:19:05,463 --> 00:19:09,523
We've been invaded so many times by
Barbarians using North Sea Ferries.

217
00:19:14,063 --> 00:19:18,343
Tom and Smiler
followed Glenda for free.

218
00:19:18,343 --> 00:19:22,623
Ah, but they're idiots.
You were getting the idiot rate.

219
00:19:22,623 --> 00:19:26,403
I'm in business. But we're idiots.
You're an idiot.

220
00:19:26,403 --> 00:19:32,303
So that's the secret. Integrated
at last. Here he comes now.

221
00:19:41,363 --> 00:19:45,663
I suggest we keep a safe distance.
Wait for my signal.

222
00:19:54,903 --> 00:19:57,083
Right, Entwistle, off you go.

223
00:19:57,083 --> 00:19:59,323
ENGINE CHUGS

224
00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:01,443
Come on.

225
00:20:03,343 --> 00:20:06,963
How much do you charge
for following Barry?

226
00:20:06,963 --> 00:20:09,103
This bit's on the house.

227
00:20:09,103 --> 00:20:13,723
I knew it. That's what
we're pushing. A house.

228
00:20:18,623 --> 00:20:21,723
So how do we follow him now?
We don't.

229
00:20:21,723 --> 00:20:27,503
All we can do is go back to where
we first encountered the suspect.
Maybe he's gone there again.

230
00:20:33,643 --> 00:20:37,283
How did it get mangled
into this terrible condition?

231
00:20:37,283 --> 00:20:41,583
He says that's how it's supposed to
be. You mean he made it like this?

232
00:20:41,583 --> 00:20:46,123
He says it's a tree.
An artistic vision of a tree.

233
00:20:46,123 --> 00:20:49,803
What a wonderful gift
for talking rubbish they all have.

234
00:20:49,803 --> 00:20:54,003
Where is it gonna go? Over
that wall if he doesn't shift it.

235
00:21:02,663 --> 00:21:06,483
This is where we saw him the last
time. Pleasant, isolated spot.

236
00:21:06,483 --> 00:21:08,563
He's got to be up to no good.

237
00:21:08,563 --> 00:21:10,703
Country lover.

238
00:21:10,703 --> 00:21:15,243
Let's give him a shout. Quiet.
We don't want to scare him.

239
00:21:15,243 --> 00:21:20,023
We just want to... We just want
to find him. Is there a reward?

240
00:21:20,023 --> 00:21:23,563
Stop coming from Hull, Entwistle.

241
00:21:23,563 --> 00:21:27,223
It was worth a try.
You never know if you don't ask.

242
00:21:27,223 --> 00:21:32,863
You'll enjoy the next bit.
It's called "sneaking up and
catching a person in the act".

243
00:21:32,863 --> 00:21:37,443
I can't believe that Barry is
in an act. You believe in fairies.

244
00:21:37,443 --> 00:21:41,103
Only at Christmas.
Let's find his car.

245
00:21:49,503 --> 00:21:52,263
We're too late. Look at that.

246
00:21:52,263 --> 00:21:55,023
What? On the back seat.

247
00:21:55,023 --> 00:21:57,403
His clothes.

248
00:21:57,403 --> 00:22:01,003
Why would his clothes
be on the back seat?

249
00:22:01,003 --> 00:22:05,923
You know what this means,
don't you? Suicide.

250
00:22:05,923 --> 00:22:09,523
You come straight out with it,
don't you?

251
00:22:09,523 --> 00:22:11,743
Why would he take his clothes off?

252
00:22:11,743 --> 00:22:18,263
Well, you know Barry. He wouldn't
want to ruin his creases by jumping
in the water with his clothes on.

253
00:22:18,263 --> 00:22:21,043
Is there any water around here?

254
00:22:21,043 --> 00:22:24,603
Well, there must be if
he's gonna drown himself.

255
00:22:24,603 --> 00:22:29,623
Why would he drown himself? Because
he's brokenhearted about Glenda.

256
00:22:29,623 --> 00:22:35,463
I thought she was brokenhearted
about him. Well, there you go, you
see. They're both brokenhearted.

257
00:22:35,463 --> 00:22:41,583
It's a tragedy. It's like Romeo
and Juliet. With no clothes on.
That should sell a few tickets.

258
00:22:41,583 --> 00:22:43,983
I'll bet it's been done already.

259
00:22:43,983 --> 00:22:47,363
We've got to find him
before he drowns himself.

260
00:22:47,363 --> 00:22:51,183
There's no water round here.
It was just a cry for help.

261
00:22:51,183 --> 00:22:53,303
DISTANT: Help!

262
00:22:53,303 --> 00:22:56,063
Told you. That was uncanny.

263
00:22:56,063 --> 00:22:58,103
But it wasn't Barry.

264
00:22:58,103 --> 00:23:00,263
Help!

265
00:23:02,063 --> 00:23:06,363
You've got to help me. I found
this young lady in a bramble bush.

266
00:23:06,363 --> 00:23:09,403
ALL: Come off it!

267
00:23:09,403 --> 00:23:11,843
Well, you're quite wrong for once.

268
00:23:21,783 --> 00:23:23,863
Miss Davenport?

269
00:23:23,863 --> 00:23:30,103
You must be wondering what
a mature librarian is doing
in a bramble bush.

270
00:23:30,103 --> 00:23:33,783
You see.
I know who you thought it'd be.

271
00:23:33,783 --> 00:23:37,543
Don't overdo it, Howard.
Innocent doesn't suit you.

272
00:23:37,543 --> 00:23:42,283
You're well entangled,
Miss Davenport. Story of my life.

273
00:23:42,283 --> 00:23:48,363
I'm far too trusting. In that
case...my card, Miss Davenport. If
ever you need anything electrical.

274
00:23:48,363 --> 00:23:51,763
Oh! Thank you Mr...Entwistle!?

275
00:23:51,763 --> 00:23:55,943
Daddy resented being mistaken for
a foreigner, so he changed the name.

276
00:23:55,943 --> 00:23:58,023
From McIntyre.

277
00:23:58,023 --> 00:24:01,503
How did you get yourself into such
a mess?

278
00:24:01,503 --> 00:24:07,083
By being far too trusting.
They all swear that they're
free of all other relationships.

279
00:24:07,083 --> 00:24:11,623
How did you get yourself
in this bush? Oh, the bush.

280
00:24:11,623 --> 00:24:15,943
By following Barry. His wife
thinks he's up to something.

281
00:24:15,943 --> 00:24:19,563
It's a good job I came
past quite innocently.

282
00:24:19,563 --> 00:24:22,183
Atchoo!

283
00:24:24,203 --> 00:24:26,483
Sorry.

284
00:24:29,823 --> 00:24:32,023
What's she packed you?

285
00:24:32,023 --> 00:24:34,723
I don't know. What do you think?

286
00:24:34,723 --> 00:24:38,683
There's a bloke in those trees
with a gun!

287
00:24:42,783 --> 00:24:45,023
What do you think?

288
00:24:45,023 --> 00:24:47,303
I think it's fish paste.

289
00:24:47,303 --> 00:24:50,983
What about him and his tale
of the bloke with a gun?

290
00:24:50,983 --> 00:24:53,303
He seems quite excitable to me.

291
00:24:53,303 --> 00:24:57,043
Unreliable witness. He'd be useless
in court. He'd go to pieces.

292
00:24:57,043 --> 00:25:00,603
At the risk of being
overzealous or madly keen...

293
00:25:00,603 --> 00:25:03,943
don't you think
we should investigate further?

294
00:25:03,943 --> 00:25:06,183
There's no need. It's fish paste.

295
00:25:09,783 --> 00:25:11,823
Barry?

296
00:25:11,823 --> 00:25:14,303
Barry!

297
00:25:14,303 --> 00:25:16,463
Who is it?

298
00:25:16,463 --> 00:25:19,063
It's only us, Barry.

299
00:25:19,063 --> 00:25:21,303
We've come to save you.

300
00:25:21,303 --> 00:25:26,103
Would you believe - even out
here - Jehovah's Witnesses?

301
00:25:27,743 --> 00:25:29,863
No, Barry.

302
00:25:29,863 --> 00:25:34,063
It's Truly, Clegg, Billy, Entwistle,
Howard, Marina and Miss Davenport.

303
00:25:34,063 --> 00:25:37,123
Did you hire a coach?

304
00:25:37,123 --> 00:25:40,883
That's nice. He sounds
really glad we've found him.

305
00:25:40,883 --> 00:25:44,423
He's embarrassed because
he's gonna to drown himself.

306
00:25:44,423 --> 00:25:46,523
Are you near any water, Barry?

307
00:25:46,523 --> 00:25:50,103
If you're thirsty, I think
there's a bottle in the car.

308
00:25:50,103 --> 00:25:52,223
He's in here.

309
00:25:52,223 --> 00:25:58,963
You know, the old policeman in me
can't help wondering what he's doing
in the bushes with no clothes on.

310
00:26:00,903 --> 00:26:06,943
There is no need to cover my eyes,
Howard. When the time comes,
they'll be tightly shut.

311
00:26:06,943 --> 00:26:12,123
The countryside is more interesting
than a casual visitor appreciates.

312
00:26:12,123 --> 00:26:14,183
Come out, lad.

313
00:26:14,183 --> 00:26:17,683
I'd rather not
at the moment, thank you.

314
00:26:17,683 --> 00:26:20,403
All right. End of softly-softly.

315
00:26:20,403 --> 00:26:24,663
If you won't come out, we're coming
in to get you. Oh, all right, then.

316
00:26:27,943 --> 00:26:30,943
Don't shoot. Me good Indian.

317
00:26:31,303 --> 00:26:34,163
You see. People take the wee-wee.

318
00:26:35,403 --> 00:26:37,723
How can I tell Glenda?

319
00:26:37,723 --> 00:26:41,783
Get rid of the woman, and you can
tell her anything. What woman?

320
00:26:41,783 --> 00:26:44,963
I've not got another woman.
I don't want another woman.

321
00:26:44,963 --> 00:26:48,863
Don't be hasty. Don't
say anything you might regret.

322
00:26:52,823 --> 00:26:55,043
Can we ask a question, Barry?

323
00:26:55,043 --> 00:26:57,423
Why are you dressed like this?

324
00:26:57,423 --> 00:27:01,603
There's a group who do country and
western. I thought I might join.

325
00:27:01,603 --> 00:27:06,803
They go to this pub as cowboys
and listen to country and western.

326
00:27:06,803 --> 00:27:10,063
I think tha'd be better
with another woman, Barry.

327
00:27:16,543 --> 00:27:18,783
Hello, Mr Truelove.

328
00:27:18,783 --> 00:27:20,903
Get rid of him, Glenda.

329
00:27:20,903 --> 00:27:23,063
Get rid of who?

330
00:27:23,063 --> 00:27:25,343
Your boyfriend.

331
00:27:25,343 --> 00:27:29,463
Barry hasn't got another woman,
so you don't need a boyfriend.

332
00:27:29,463 --> 00:27:31,983
I haven't got a boyfriend.

333
00:27:31,983 --> 00:27:34,863
The one with the trilby and the mac.

334
00:27:36,063 --> 00:27:38,283
That was me.

335
00:27:38,283 --> 00:27:43,703
I knew it. I knew she wouldn't
have a boyfriend.

336
00:27:43,703 --> 00:27:47,043
It's Barry who's got another woman.

337
00:27:47,043 --> 00:27:49,283
No, he hasn't.

338
00:27:49,283 --> 00:27:51,523
It's like this...

339
00:28:05,603 --> 00:28:08,003
Autumn's early this year!

340
00:28:13,623 --> 00:28:15,663
It was fish paste.

341
00:28:15,663 --> 00:28:18,083
You should know. You ate all three.

342
00:28:42,023 --> 00:28:44,063
Glenda!

343
00:28:44,063 --> 00:28:46,123
Me White Feather.

344
00:28:47,883 --> 00:28:50,063
Do you tickle?

345
00:28:50,063 --> 00:28:52,263
Come find out!

346
00:28:52,263 --> 00:28:56,263
Subtitles by Ailsa Macaulay